TRansiTion ---TRouBleSoMe......

The first blog of my life, don't know from where to start. Well it’s all about a transitions in life. Starting with school days --full of masti, exam-o-phobia, Thinking about gals, results, sports and every other thing. If parent's are not getting you the things you wish ,getting angry shouting on mother -general dialogue--"When I ll earn I will buy on my own, I will provide my child everything which u guys are not giving me”. Thinking of life in a college ---Getting inspired by movies specially K2H2. Will have all masti, cool gals and all those naughty naughty stuffs. But now days so much of study pressures --getting admission in good colleges is again a big tension. So much of competition’s much of tension pressure from society, parent’s teacher's. It's like hell kind of situation.......... I ll start with the High school phase. Let me tell u guys. A story ---I think it's like general day to day life and it might reflect your life at some instance.... My Life....... Let’s start wid 12th boards. But before that some background effects ...not to much just a short one. I was always a good at studies not great :) but above average. As everyone knows life after 10th board changes, u need to select the stream in which u want u to pursue your career. So I selected science as my stream, I always wanted to become an Engineer. As a scored pretty well in my boards ,I asked for bike to my father after lot of discussions at home finally my Grandpa agreed n finally on 1st Aug ’02 ,I got it .I can’t forget that day it was a really special for me though I demanded CBZ but I got Splendor. It was like different feeling once u enter High School, u feel urself like u r one of king of school .Senior student ha ha :) So class 11th was ok I did well in finals. Till this time I had no idea about what is IIT and what its level is? I was like from always if I ll do good at school results I get admission in some good college .In fact no one was there to guide me. When I came to 12th teachers started giving stress on entrance exams preparation then actually I came to know the level what actually IIT level is. For preparations as students were doing even I thought I should also join some coaching classes. But as my parents were also not having much knowledge abt it as in there time it was like score well in 12th and u ll get through, so it was like why to join any coaching classes better have a private tutor (One of the biggest mistake of my lyf). By the way most of my good friends were in Commerce section, most of the times they used to do masti though I used to go out with them but I made it a point that it’s not at all affecting my studies and I m not going to involve myself in any of the bad activities. So everything seems to be going smooth .Till then I was like very shy, I don’t use to talk to gals. I think after two three months of 12 I started talking to gals (commerce my friend’s friend), so it was like they also become part of our group and we used to hangout together but still my focus was more on studies, these activities goes on parallel ‘coz I can’t c failure in lyf in fact I don’t have that much courage to face it. Gals are there in ur circle so obviously for a status symbol u need a bike which I already had ,and a mobile .So a new demand to parent’s ,and but obvious parent’s are bounded to fulfil child’s wish and nonetheless my sweet grandpa was always there for me, I got a mobile. Lot of distractions in my life................Hmmmm :), actually I don’t think these are distractions these are necessity but from parent’s point of view these are distractions. Any ways apart from all these stuffs my grandpa was not well from last 2 yrs. He was on complete bed rest. My boards were approaching so I was more into studies but I do agree that mobile at that point of time was bit distraction in my case. But most of the time I used to think about my Grandpa ‘coz somewhere in my heart it was there that I m going to loose him soon which was really intolerable for me. I loved him the most in my lyf and him too. So it was like from 28th Feb My boards r going to start n my first paper was Physics .I started preparation for it a week back .The day I fear the most came –“Dark Phase of my life started”-26th Feb My Grandpa got admitted in hospital. I used to go n meet him every evening. Any how I gave my first paper it was ok types to be very frank I was not able to concentrate much in studies ,most of the times it was like I don’t want to loose him. The situation at home was like they called all the family members and situation was like, he will be leaving us at any moment so it’s better that everyone should meet him one last time. I never want this day to come but it came. It was 1st March ’04, in evening I came back from tuitions and went directly to hospital. Doctor’s have put food pipe in my grandpa’s nose and he was like dying with pain. They even tied his hands so that he shouldn’t pull out the pipe. I saw him n he was crying tears started coming out my eyes and he was like calling my name n asking to remove that pipe, I went near to him, I touched his hands .I cant stop my tears I went out of the room my grandma came, I cried a bit n then again I went inside .I felt like something wrong. I saw his pulse is going down in CRT I got worried ,I called doctor n I call my uncle as he just came to hospital my father just left. He told like sometimes it happens but it happened again and grandpa cried my name n then my uncle’s ................I called doctor’s they gave injections but of no use he was no more. I was almost dead, I think more than 1 yr after this incidence I cried daily but no one was there to share or understand my pain. A last word of my grandpa...-He was calling my n my uncle's name b4 dying.... I can't express in words how painful it is, someone whom u love most in ur life dying in front of calling ur name and u r helpless. I was totally shattered but still I have to keep smile on my face for sake of my family, specially my Grandma. My life became hell after that ............I can’t express my feelings. U knows all Hindu’s, especially Marwari culture, so much of rituals etc...On death ceremony, so, for next 15-20 days my house was crowded. Everyone was like go n study Ankit u board exams r gng...How’s ur preparation? What the hell..... Can't they understand wat pain I am going through? No one was there for showing the correct way to this tender hearted teenager. Anyhow boards got over.....okies I was trying to overcome whatever happened. I used to involve myself bit of studies, playing cricket in the evening. After seeing that competitive exams r near for Engineering entrance, one of my Uncle (I admire him most) called me up to his place for 3 months, for preparation. Though I used to study but it was like I have forgot what all I have studied all these days ,whatever I used to study was like new to me though I have already studied in 11th & 12th,but whom to tell this actually who will understand my feelings ..Everyone was like Ankit go n Study tat's it.......Those were my dark phases of life. Anyhow I gave the entrance exams not that well ,in meanwhile my board results came out everyone was like why didn't u studied this that .....yaar y u guys don't understand the situation I have been through!!! I will rather say my 12th result was too bad; I managed to score distinction at least :( Only my grandma supported me.... Life is like that only........!!!!!!! I didn’t score well in my entrance exams but I don't want to stay nemore there, 'coz I knew I won't be able to study, so it's better to take admission in whichever college I m getting. After a whole lot of problems and all monetary stuffs, a middle class family so it's very obvious. It was like 5 months of depression in my life. This was one of the few instances where life has taken a different turn... I will rather say the truth about transitions in life is "Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome" I ll rather say it’s anybody’s fault, it’s all fate. I m not accusing anybody for this, but I took it as if I have learnt something from other’s mistake .This will be helpful for me to take care of my children. I think parent should develop a friend kind of relationship with their child, So that he/she will never hesitate to share nething from them. So I think It might be bit saady kind of story, but don’t worry my next blog will be of full of hungama n masti that I had in my coll life.............